Carer's allowance, appointments and no time to be ill

The appointments are the difficult logistics. Finding cover for an hour is harder than any of the medical side.

Idris, answering your question directly rather than going round the houses.

Somebody in this circle said that carers are the group most likely to describe themselves as fine, and I recognised myself immediately.

What I would say to somebody starting is to build it into something you already do, because anything additional will not survive a difficult month.

I have found the check-ins here more useful than the circles, because two lines on a Tuesday is what I can actually manage.

Something that helped was telling one member of the family what I am doing, so that somebody other than me knows.

What I got right was keeping this very simple. No tracking, no apps, no projects. One thing, once a week, written in a notebook.

My GP asked how I was doing as a carer, once, unprompted, and I cried in the appointment, which surprised us both.

What helped was one hour a fortnight that is genuinely mine, arranged formally, so that it cannot quietly disappear.

My sleep is broken for reasons that have nothing to do with this, and separating the tiredness has been the hardest analytical problem.

My respite arrangements took nine months to organise and are the reason I am still standing. Do start that conversation early.

I would gently say that if you are the only person holding everything, that is worth telling somebody clinical rather than absorbing.

Just marking that I read this properly rather than skimming it.

What surprised me was how much I needed somewhere that was not about him. This circle is the only place in my week that is.

My experience is that this is entirely doable while caring, and that it needs more planning than the guides assume.