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The first twelve weeks

My partner keeps asking if I am eating enough and I do not know

Started 28 March 2024 · 17 replies · 213 hearts · read 1.7k times

NikoTbilisi, GE · 28 March 2024
2.3 years ago

My partner keeps asking if I am eating enough and I do not know — putting it in its own thread so it does not get lost in the check-in.

Writing this partly to ask and partly because writing it down usually tells me what I think.

What I would find most useful is not advice. It is somebody describing what their version of this stage was, and how long it went on for before it changed.

I have read the guides here, which were more useful than anything else I have found, and I still have a question about the timing that they do not cover.

The thing that has surprised me most about this stage is how much of it is about other people rather than about me.

Not looking for a plan. Just company, and whatever anybody found at the same stage.

71

OndineLausanne, CH
#1

I asked here in week five whether I should be further along, and somebody replied asking further along than what. I did not have an answer, and that was the answer.

16

StefanZurich, CH
#2

The weekly rhythm of this circle carried me through the first twelve weeks more than any single piece of information did. Turning up on a Thursday to say a small thing was enough.

9

NellaUtrecht, NL
#3

What changed for me around week ten was less physical than practical. I finally had a routine that fit my actual week rather than the week I wished I had.

13

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada
#4

I want to name the thing this circle does when somebody says they have stopped: it treats it as ordinary. That is not automatic anywhere else and it is worth saying out loud here.

22

MargueriteQuebec City, CA
#5

I found the second month harder than the first because the novelty had worn off and it had turned into something I had to keep doing. That is a very ordinary shape.

10me too 6

SindriReykjavík, IS
#6

Coming back to what Nella wrote further up, because it is the bit I keep thinking about.

Weeks one to twelve for me were: strange, quiet, difficult, difficult, better, fine, fine, tired, tired, fine, good, and then a week where I forgot I was doing it at all.

14

Obi OEnugu, NG
#7

Esi, thank you for that. It gives me somewhere to start from.

My most useful early habit was writing down the question the moment it occurred to me, because by the appointment I could never remember what had been worrying me at eleven at night.

6

Ozzy GWalsall, UK
#8

The first twelve weeks are also when you find out what your prescriber is like when you ask a question between appointments. Mine was much more available than I expected and I had spent weeks not asking.

12

TavishIsle of Skye, UK
#9

Holding this with you rather than answering it.

12

NualaArmagh, NI
#10

Obi O said something I want to sit with for a second.

Something I did not anticipate was how much I would want to talk about it and how little the people around me would want to hear about it. This circle absorbed the difference.

9

OllieCardiff, UK
#11

Gently disagreeing with Nuala, or rather adding the other half of it.

Around week nine I stopped noticing it. Not because anything dramatic changed, but because it had become part of the week rather than an event in it.

12me too 4

IlyaAlmaty, KZ
#12

I would gently say that twelve weeks is not long. It felt endless from inside it and looks very short from here, and both of those readings are honest.

9

KateBelfast, NI
#13

If you are in the middle of this stretch and everything feels unresolved, that is the correct feeling for the middle of it. Nothing is meant to be resolved yet.

11

BramleyBath, UK
#14

Twelve weeks in I finally understood that the steep part is the learning, not the medicine. Once I knew how my own week worked, everything got quieter.

9

NikoTbilisi, GE
#15

Not a solution, just company.

10

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada
#16

Noticing out loud that we have drifted into comparing timelines. That happens without anybody intending it and it does not help the person who opened the thread. Let us come back to them.

29

StefanZurich, CH
#17

My week six was much harder than my week two, which I had not expected at all. I had assumed it got monotonically easier and it does not always go in that direction.

10