The evidence pack I assembled and what was in it

My appeal succeeded on a technicality about how a criterion was measured, which I would never have spotted without reading their policy.

What helped was treating it as an administrative task with steps rather than as a judgement on me, which took me two refusals to manage.

I found the process demoralising and the outcome good, and I want both halves of that on the record.

My honest advice is to ask somebody to read your letter before you send it. Mine cut a page and made it twice as effective.

The criterion I failed on turned out to have been assessed on out-of-date information, and correcting that was the entire appeal.

What I would say to anybody at the first refusal is that this is normal, it is a stage rather than an ending, and most people who persist get further.

What I got wrong was appealing emotionally. The letter that worked was boring, numbered and entirely factual.

I kept a log of every call with the date and the name and it was the reason my complaint was taken seriously at the third stage.

Coming back to say mine was granted on the third attempt, sixteen weeks after the first refusal, and the letter that worked was the shortest one.

A refusal letter is a first draft. Mine was overturned on the second attempt and nothing about my situation had changed, only the paperwork.

The single most useful thing I did was ask, in writing, for the specific criterion I had failed. That turned a vague refusal into a checklist.

That is a kinder way of putting it than I have managed about myself.

I would say get everything you have already been told in writing before you start, because verbal assurances evaporate.

Something practical: I sent everything recorded delivery and referenced the previous letter by date in every new one.

What I learned is that the person reading it is following a policy document, and the policy document is usually available if you ask for it.

Something I would flag: ask whether there is an independent review stage, because there usually is and it is rarely advertised.

The flowchart I drew of the process was genuinely useful and I have since sent it to four people in this circle.