Compliments that felt like an indictment of before

I would gently say that if this has become the main thing you think about, that is worth mentioning to somebody rather than managing alone.

The thing that has helped most is spending time doing things where my body is useful rather than looked at. Swimming, mostly, badly.

I have stopped reading anything that presents bodies as a before and a subsequent state. That single decision improved my year measurably.

The kindest thing anybody said to me was that I did not owe anybody a reaction to their compliment.

Something practical: I bought two things that fit, properly, rather than waiting. The waiting was itself a message I was sending myself.

You have said something a lot of us have not managed to. Thank you.

This is the post I wish had existed when I was looking for it.

What helped was other people describing exactly the same complicated feelings without tidying them into a lesson.

My experience is that other people's attention was the destabilising thing, more than anything about my own body.

What I would say is that this is harder than the physical side and gets a fraction of the discussion. I am glad this circle exists for it.