The first one I did without thinking about it

Started 3 August 2025 · 18 replies · 166 hearts · read 2.4k times

CatoAntwerp, BE · 3 August 2025

12 months ago

The first one I did without thinking about it Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think.

Before anyone says it: yes, I have an appointment booked. I would still like to hear from people who have had this.

This started at the same time as two other things, which is why I cannot attribute it to anything with any confidence.

I have avoided asking about this for six weeks out of pure embarrassment, which is ridiculous given that this circle exists precisely for it.

Sorry to be graphic. If anybody has had this, I would rather hear it plainly than politely.

NylaNairobi, KE

Have you got anyone who can be in the room? It made an enormous difference to me and I felt ridiculous asking, and I would ask sooner if I could do it again.

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada

Slowing this down for a moment. The question asked was whether this is ordinary. That is not the same as asking what to do about it and we have answered the second one.

Ozzy GWalsall, UK

Replying to Cato rather than to anybody above, because I want to answer what was actually asked.

Coming back to say that the dread went. Not immediately, not tidily, but it went, and I have not thought about it in over a year.

TedIpswich, UK

Recognition rather than advice, if that is any use at all.

8me too 2

BrackAlnwick, UK

Mine is now genuinely uneventful and I remember very clearly that it was not, and I would not want anybody to think it was uneventful from the start.

ZoëHackney, UK

Please do not white-knuckle this for months in silence. There are practical things people can help with and none of them require you to be brave.

SaraOslo, NO

The first month I had a friend on the phone every time. By month three I did not need to, and she still asks about it.

8me too 7

NadirCasablanca, MA

Reading Brack, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What I got wrong was doing it last thing at night when I was tired and low. Moving it to a Saturday morning changed it completely.

GaelanInverurie, UK

This is why I read the boring weeks. Thank you for the boring weeks.

TabbyMargate, UK

#10

I found having everything laid out in advance helped enormously. Rummaging for things while working myself up was where it always went badly.

OrlaithDonegal, IE

#11

Building on what Gaelan wrote rather than answering the original question.

The two hours before were always worse than the thing itself, every single time, for about four months. Naming that pattern was the beginning of it getting better.

BrodyDunfermline, UK

#12

My anxiety was mostly about doing it wrong. Once my nurse watched me do one and said it was fine, most of it evaporated.

PerrineStrasbourg, FR

#13

Somebody here suggested breathing out during rather than holding my breath, and it changed the physical experience noticeably. Very small thing.

GavinDundee, UK

#14

Perrine said something I want to sit with for a second.

I still do not enjoy it, two years in. I do it in about forty seconds without thinking, and I do not enjoy it, and both of those are true.

DelythBala, UK

#15

What worked was doing it at the same moment every week rather than at a convenient moment. Deciding when was where the dread lived.

9me too 3

SableCape Town, ZA

#16

The bathroom floor is a legitimate venue and I would like that on the record for anybody who thinks they are the only one.

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada

#17

Noting for anybody reading later: where the person who asked has come back with what happened, that post is usually worth more than everything offered before it, and it is never the one at the top.

OttaviaBologna, IT

#18

Mine got much worse for a fortnight after one that stung, and then went back to baseline. One bad experience can reset the whole thing temporarily.