From dread to ritual over about five months

Started 20 June 2024 · 24 replies · 272 hearts · read 2.9k times

NadirCasablanca, MA · 20 June 2024

2.1 years ago

From dread to ritual over about five months — putting it in its own thread so it does not get lost in the check-in.

I have avoided asking about this for six weeks out of pure embarrassment.

What I cannot tell is whether this is the ordinary tax or the sort of thing that needs somebody today, and that distinction is the whole of my question.

I have written down when it happens and how long it lasts, because I could not answer either of those questions when my GP asked and I felt foolish.

Before anyone says it: yes, I have an appointment booked. I would still like to hear from people who have had this, because I would rather go in able to describe it properly.

I have checked my notes before posting, so five months is accurate rather than the impression I had been carrying around.

Not after remedies particularly. Mostly I want to know whether this is ordinary and how long it went on for.

DelythBala, UK

Somebody here suggested breathing out during rather than holding my breath, and it changed the physical experience noticeably. Very small thing.

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada

Facilitator note: everything described here is a matter for you and whoever prescribes for you. We are here for the company and for the vocabulary.

IvesPenzance, UK

Saying it out loud helps other people say it too. Thank you.

GwynforLlanidloes, UK

My anxiety was mostly about doing it wrong. Once my nurse watched me do one and said it was fine, most of it evaporated.

PerrineStrasbourg, FR

Talking to my prescriber about the anxiety specifically, rather than about the medication, opened up a conversation I did not know was available.

TabbyMargate, UK

Mine got much worse for a fortnight after one that stung, and then went back to baseline. One bad experience can reset the whole thing temporarily.

Ozzy GWalsall, UK

Reading Perrine, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What worked was doing it at the same moment every week rather than at a convenient moment. Deciding when was where the dread lived.

8me too 2

GaelanInverurie, UK

The bathroom floor is a legitimate venue and I would like that on the record for anybody who thinks they are the only one.

OmarAmman, JO

My partner did the first several. That is a completely legitimate arrangement and it is not a permanent one unless you want it to be.

OttaviaBologna, IT

#10

Something that helped: I stopped calling it an injection in my own head. Silly, and it took a surprising amount of weight out of the word.

BrodyDunfermline, UK

#11

The first month I had a friend on the phone every time. By month three I did not need to, and she still asks about it.

11me too 8

OrlaithDonegal, IE

#12

What I got wrong was doing it last thing at night when I was tired and low. Moving it to a Saturday morning changed it completely.

GavinDundee, UK

#13

Picking up Ottavia’s point rather than starting a new one.

I found having everything laid out in advance helped enormously. Rummaging for things while working myself up was where it always went badly.

TedIpswich, UK

#14

That is a kinder way of putting it than I have managed about myself.

BrackAlnwick, UK

#15

I still do not enjoy it, two years in. I do it in about forty seconds without thinking, and I do not enjoy it, and both of those are true.

NylaNairobi, KE

#16

Building on what Ted wrote rather than answering the original question.

Mine is now genuinely uneventful and I remember very clearly that it was not, and I would not want anybody to think it was uneventful from the start.

SableCape Town, ZA

#17

Please do not white-knuckle this for months in silence. There are practical things people can help with and none of them require you to be brave.

CatoAntwerp, BE

#18

Coming back to say that the dread went. Not immediately, not tidily, but it went, and I have not thought about it in over a year.

16me too 9

SaraOslo, NO

#19

Picking up Sable’s point rather than starting a new one.

What worked for me was a ritual. Same place, same order, same music, and about six weeks of that turned it from an event into a routine.

IslaOban, UK

#20

I did the first four in the bathroom sitting on the floor. There is no correct place and nobody is watching.

NadirCasablanca, MA

#21

Counting down out loud sounds silly and was the only thing that stopped me hovering. Three, two, one, done, and the hovering was where all the fear lived.

DelythBala, UK

#22

The dread built through the day and peaked about an hour before, so I moved mine to first thing in the morning and cut the anticipation to ten minutes.

12me too 6

EsiFacilitatorToronto, Canada

#23

A standing thank-you to anybody who returns to a thread with the outcome. Threads that simply stop are the ones that leave the next person stranded, and one sentence months later prevents it.

IvesPenzance, UK

#24

Adding a name to the list of people this helped.