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I came off because it was not safe for me

Started 20 March 2026 · 15 replies · 110 hearts · read 828 times

BroganCumbernauld, UK · 20 March 2026
4 months ago

A question rather than an update: I came off because it was not safe for me

I have been sitting on this for a month.

This is the third time I have started this post and the first time I have got to the end of it, so I am going to press the button before I lose my nerve.

What I would find useful is knowing whether anybody else has felt this way about it, because from inside my own head it seems like an unreasonable reaction.

That is all. Thank you for being the kind of place where this can be written down.

37

RenataKraków, PL
#1

What I appreciate is that this circle does not talk about food in the way the rest of the internet does. That is a deliberate choice and it works.

3

GwionBangor, UK
#2

My history meant a lot of the standard guidance was not appropriate for me, and having a team who knew that was what made this possible at all.

8

OllieCardiff, UK
#3

What Gwion described happened to me too, in a slightly different order.

I have been challenged here once, gently, in a way I did not enjoy and needed. Nobody piled on. One person said one thing and then supported me.

9me too 7

JonahFacilitatorCork, Ireland
#4

Facilitator note: the agreements for this circle are stricter than the sitewide ones and they are stricter on purpose. They are linked from the circle landing page.

11

OrlaithDonegal, IE
#5

Ollie said something I want to sit with for a second.

What I would say is that a support community is not treatment. This is company alongside the people who actually know my history.

5

GrizelKirkcaldy, UK
#6

I keep in regular contact with my team and I tell them what I am reading and where. That transparency has kept me safe more than once.

8

SableCape Town, ZA
#7

Somebody here said that recovery is not a straight line and nobody in this circle expects it to be, and I read that on a very bad evening.

9

BramwellNottingham, UK
#8

Building on what Grizel wrote rather than answering the original question.

The absence of comparison in this circle is the reason I stayed. Everywhere else I found, people were measuring themselves against each other.

6me too 1

NanNeath, UK
#9

This is the post I wish had existed when I was looking for it.

9

OsricSalisbury, UK
#10

Reading Sable, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What helped was being asked how I was doing rather than how it was going. Two different questions and only one of them was about me.

5

RunaAarhus, DK
#11

I would encourage anybody unsure to read the agreements first. They are clear, they are enforced, and they told me whether this was somewhere I could be.

8

QuinGuildford, UK
#12

My experience is that this circle moves slowly and carefully and that is exactly what I needed from it.

6

SadieSalford, UK
#13

Something I have learned here is that saying I am struggling does not require me to explain why. That has been a relief.

9

JonahFacilitatorCork, Ireland
#14

Speaking as a facilitator: I am leaving this open. Some threads should not be closed neatly and this is one of them.

10me too 8

RenataKraków, PL
#15

Jonah has already said most of this and I want to add the one part that was different for me.

I have found it useful to write about how I am rather than what I have done. The distinction is small and it changes what I notice.

4me too 4