I decided not to take it, and that was the right decision for me Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think.
This is a difficult one to write and I have deleted it twice.
I have spent a long time managing everybody else's feelings about this and I have not looked at my own, and that is what this post is.
I am aware this may be about something older than any of this, and that is part of what I am trying to work out by writing it down.
I would like to hear from people who found this hard rather than from people who did not, which I know is an odd thing to ask for.
Thank you for reading. I am not expecting anybody to have an answer and I feel better for having written it.
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