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I decided not to take it, and that was the right decision for me

Started 25 January 2026 · 12 replies · 104 hearts · read 2.3k times

SadieSalford, UK · 25 January 2026
6 months ago

I decided not to take it, and that was the right decision for me Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think.

This is a difficult one to write and I have deleted it twice.

I have spent a long time managing everybody else's feelings about this and I have not looked at my own, and that is what this post is.

I am aware this may be about something older than any of this, and that is part of what I am trying to work out by writing it down.

I would like to hear from people who found this hard rather than from people who did not, which I know is an odd thing to ask for.

Thank you for reading. I am not expecting anybody to have an answer and I feel better for having written it.

35

GwionBangor, UK
#1

I would encourage anybody unsure to read the agreements first. They are clear, they are enforced, and they told me whether this was somewhere I could be.

6

JonahFacilitatorCork, Ireland
#2

I am pleased with the pace of this thread. Nobody has rushed to fix anything and that restraint is the skill this circle asks for.

16

OllieCardiff, UK
#3

What helped was being asked how I was doing rather than how it was going. Two different questions and only one of them was about me.

7

RunaAarhus, DK
#4

Gwion — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

I have found it useful to write about how I am rather than what I have done. The distinction is small and it changes what I notice.

10

OsricSalisbury, UK
#5

What Jonah described happened to me too, in a slightly different order.

The absence of comparison in this circle is the reason I stayed. Everywhere else I found, people were measuring themselves against each other.

4me too 6

BramwellNottingham, UK
#6

Somebody here said that recovery is not a straight line and nobody in this circle expects it to be, and I read that on a very bad evening.

8

OrlaithDonegal, IE
#7

I keep in regular contact with my team and I tell them what I am reading and where. That transparency has kept me safe more than once.

8

BroganCumbernauld, UK
#8

This is the post I wish had existed when I was looking for it.

7

RenataKraków, PL
#9

The hardest part for me has been other people's enthusiasm. Well-meant, and it lands somewhere I cannot always manage.

9

PádraigGalway, IE
#10

Orlaith — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

I have been challenged here once, gently, in a way I did not enjoy and needed. Nobody piled on. One person said one thing and then supported me.

3me too 4

JonahFacilitatorCork, Ireland
#11

I am going to gently redirect. The question was about how to say something to a clinician, and we have spent six replies on whether it should be said at all.

18me too 2

GrizelKirkcaldy, UK
#12

Reading Pádraig, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What I would say is that a support community is not treatment. This is company alongside the people who actually know my history.

8