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Grief and eating

My prescriber and I paused it for a month

Started 29 June 2025 · 19 replies · 182 hearts · read 2.9k times

BibiRabat, MA · 29 June 2025
about a year ago

My prescriber and I paused it for a month Writing it down partly to work out what I actually think.

Not asking anyone to fix this. Mostly saying it out loud somewhere it will be read kindly.

This is difficult to write and I have deleted it twice. I am posting it now mostly because leaving it in drafts has not made it any easier to carry.

I have spent a long time managing everybody else's feelings about this and I have not looked at my own, and that is what this post is.

Something shifted a few months ago and I have only just been able to put words to it, and the words are still not quite right.

If you have felt anything like this, I would like to know. If you have not, that is worth knowing too.

61

OsgarKillarney, IE
#1

Bereavement support was available where I am and I did not know for eight months. Worth asking about early rather than late.

8

NoraDublin, IE
#2

March is still difficult and it is now the third March and it is less difficult than the first two. That is the whole of what I can offer.

6

TiborBratislava, SK
#3

Nora, thank you for that. It gives me somewhere to start from.

I found the physical exhaustion of it startling. Nobody had told me grief was tiring in that specific bodily way.

7me too 6

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#4

Speaking as a facilitator: what has been described here belongs with somebody qualified rather than in a thread, and I would rather say that plainly than let us be reassuring.

22

BronwenBarry, UK
#5

Reading Nora, I recognised more of that than I expected to.

What I found hardest was people asking how I was in a way that required a manageable answer.

7

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#6

My experience is that routine helped more than anything anybody said. Small, repeated, unremarkable things, done at the same times.

11

MaudGhent, BE
#7

Holding this with you rather than answering it.

6

BibiRabat, MA
#8

Bronwen — yes, and the bit that took me longest to accept was the next part.

The eating came back slowly and unevenly and I stopped monitoring it, which was the thing that let it come back.

10me too 2

OsgarKillarney, IE
#9

Reading old threads in this circle at four in the morning was, for a while, the only thing that helped, and I never posted once.

9

NoraDublin, IE
#10

Coming back to what Bibi wrote further up, because it is the bit I keep thinking about.

What I would say is do not make big decisions in the first three months. I nearly did and I am very glad I did not.

8me too 1

TiborBratislava, SK
#11

Picking up Nora’s point rather than starting a new one.

I stopped everything for six weeks, with my prescriber's agreement, and started again when I could. That was the right shape for me.

9

NerysRhyl, UK
#12

Marking that I am here, in case that counts for anything today.

11

BronwenBarry, UK
#13

What I would say is that this is not the time to be strict with yourself about anything. Mine was, for two months, and it cost me.

7

NúriaBarcelona, ES
#14

Building on what Nerys wrote rather than answering the original question.

The thing nobody warned me about was that it comes back. Not steadily. In waves, months later, over nothing in particular.

13me too 5

MaudGhent, BE
#15

Something practical that helped: somebody else deciding what I ate. I could manage food that arrived; I could not manage choosing it.

8

BibiRabat, MA
#16

My grief made everything else harder to judge. I could not tell what was a symptom and what was simply what March was like that year.

10

OsgarKillarney, IE
#17

Picking up Maud’s point rather than starting a new one.

Anniversaries are their own thing and I now put them in the calendar deliberately so they do not ambush me.

7me too 1

WrenFacilitatorLeeds, UK
#18

Gently: you have apologised twice in a post where you have done nothing that requires an apology.

18

TiborBratislava, SK
#19

Grateful you posted rather than kept it to yourself.

5