What was underneath it, once it went

The thing I would say is that this is worth talking about in therapy if you have access to it. Mine opened up a great deal that I had not connected to it.

What surprised me most was how ordinary I felt. Not better exactly. Ordinary, in a way I had assumed was simply not available to me.

I did not realise how much of my planning had been about this until it stopped. Entire structures in my week turned out to exist for a reason that had gone.

Mine is quieter on some days than others and correlates strongly with sleep, which took me about a year of notes to see.

Mine came back for a fortnight during a very stressful autumn and then went again, and I have learned not to read too much into a bad fortnight.

No wisdom, just: I am sorry. That sounds genuinely hard.

My version was gradual rather than sudden. Nothing dramatic, just a slow noticing over about two months that something had stopped.