The fortnight I should have asked for help sooner

I want to say clearly that my mental health has been better rather than worse across two years, because the difficult accounts are the ones that get written.

What I found was that being honest here was a rehearsal for being honest at my appointment, and the rehearsal genuinely helped.

What I did not expect was how much of my mood had been tied to a constant background effort, and how odd it felt when that effort stopped.

My therapist was more useful to me on this than any prescriber, because the question was not really a medication question in my case.

Bookmarking this. Thank you.

I would say plainly that if things have got dark, this is a thread to leave and a person to ring. We are company and we are not the right help for that.

Hedda, thank you for that. It gives me somewhere to start from.

Mine improved over about five months, alongside sleep improving, and I genuinely cannot separate the two.

I kept a one-word mood note daily for a year and the pattern was clear over a season and completely invisible over a week.

The hardest part was that I felt I should be pleased and I was not, and the gap between those two things was itself distressing.

I read this twice. The second time was for the last paragraph.

Mine wobbled at each step up for about a week and then settled, reliably, and knowing that pattern took the fear out of the wobbles.

The thing I would flag is anhedonia specifically. Low mood gets asked about; not enjoying anything is a different report and worth naming.

I had to accept that some of this was seasonal and would have happened regardless, and that acceptance stopped me looking for a cause that was not there.

I would have written the same thing a year ago, word for word.

What worked for me was keeping the small structures going even when they felt pointless. Getting dressed, going outside, writing two lines.